Women vs. Airplanes

After a long hiatus I have returned!  Please, hold your applause until the end.  I know you have all missed me, all six or seven of you.  Either that or you just don't really care which is fine too.  If my mind doesn't get too fried from all the work, school, and single-father commitments, I will try to continue speaking my piece every week or so.  I don't really care if people are interested in what I have to say, but I'll just say it anyways because it makes me giggle like a school girl hooked on Pop Rocks and diet soda. 

That being said, welcome back to the oddity that is me...hope you enjoy.

1. When there is something wrong, big or small, it usually takes hours to fix the problem…


2. All the good ones that will take you anywhere you want to go have babies in them already…

3. They can be extremely loud and difficult to talk over…

4. You will never find one that isn’t carrying a bag or two…

5. You must always be prepared for a rough landing on any given day…

6. When you are inside a small one it can feel a little tight…

7. They are almost always very awesome to look at...

There.  You have it.  Are you happy now?  Please send me a comment so that I know somebody cares.  No... Fine.   Until next time,   Horty AWAAAAYYYYYY 

What's Next Michael Phelps?

So the 2012 London Olympics are concluding and the most decorated Olympian of all time is retiring.  What will the mumbling man-fish do with his time now?  If I were to take a guess, I believe that he will try his luck in film. 

I can see it now...Michael Phelps starring in Michael Phelps: The Untold Story of Michael Phelps, as told by Michael Phelps.  Written by Michael Phelps.  Directed by Michael Phelps.  Produced by Michael Phelps.  Ryan Lochte was originally going to play Michael Phelps, but he will probably decline because his biggest regret in his career is that he is not Michael Phelps.  Missy Franklin would have been next in line to play Mr. Wondertrout, but she will opt to further her education and graduate from middle school. 

This film will hold everything you can expect from an Olympic blockbuster.  Triumphs of winning 22 gold medals that are actually made of silver, heartache in the form of Gabby Douglas losing her six foot pet fish to the trials of world renown, and humor at the sight of Michael Phelps actually trying to act like Michael Phelps. 

This film will be acclaimed as one of the best sports movies of all time.  It will be in the ranks of such great movies as Rocky 5, Caddyshack 2, and Ladybugs.