Cut Me Off With Courtesy

Every day I ride my motorcycle to and from work. It is no surprise to me when an ignorant road whore cuts me off. Most of the time I just grin and bear it because really, what am I going to do? There are a few different kinds of people that will cut off a biker going 70 mph. I will outline such road whores for your reading pleasure.

Road Whore #1-The Non-Committed

This bastard of a driver will drive for a mile with their blinker on when the lane ends and try to merge into my lane. While I will not speed up due to photo-radar, nor slow down due to a time crunch to be ontime to work, this driver will remain the same speed right beside me. He will not speed up nor slow down to get into the appropriate lane, no matter if there is a car in front or behind me. Then the lane merges and I am either forced to speed up or slow down, risking a ticket or being late for work.

Road Whore #2-The Over-Committed

This master of freak out is completely over committed to merging into my lane. Without a moment's notice, a turn signal is on and the pricey SUV is halfway into my lane. My choices are become street wax from the H3 who is trying to be economical by driving a fuel efficient godzilla, become street wax from the car in the other lane, or master driving perfectly straight on the dotted line while not freaking out by being inches from a car on either side.

Road Whore #3-I'm Sorry

This generous driver is my favorite. After they make the mistake of not checking their blind spot they are in mid-merge and finally decide to check for me. They inevitably see me and return safely to their lane. As I pass the driver they flash an apologetic smile and wave. No harm, no foul.

Road Whore #4-Still Does Not See Me

This is my most loathed road whore. This driver is the Over-Committed but with a catch. Out of all the drivers, with the exception of the I'm Sorry driver, it is my right to give the most coveted hand gesture around, The High Flying F You! After being nearly killed, I fly the middle finger right beside the driver's side window. That usually gets the message across that they are retarded and need to watch where they are driving. However, this road whore still does not see me after honking and a middle finger four inches from the window. In my experience, these driver's are usually of an ethnic lineage. Why are they bad drivers? Only God, Allah, Sheevah, Buddah, or whoever they worship knows the answer to that question. Nothing infuriates me more after being cut-off and ignored on the road to being cut-off and ignored when I try to say F-You!

So please, in the future, if you cut me off, give me my just rewards in almost having my life taken. Let me show you my middle finger so you can be freaked out that a biker wants to kick your ass! I guarantee you will be looking in your mirror for me until you get to your destination.